like mechanics magazines. I have a good appetite. I wake fresh and rested
most mornings. I think I would like the role of a librarian. I am easily
awakened by noise. I like to read newspaper articles on crime. My head
an feet are usually warm enough. My daily life is full of things that
keep me interested. I am about as able to work as I ever was. There seem
to be a lump in my throat much of the time. A person should try to understand
his dreams and be guided by or take warning from them. I enjoy detective
or mystery stories. I work under a great deal of tension. I have diarrhea
once a month. Once in a while I think of things too bad to talk about.
I am sure I get a raw deal from life. My father was a good man. I am very
seldom troubled by constipation. When I take a new job, I like to be tipped
off on who should be gotten next to. My sex life is satisfactory. At times
I have very much wanted to leave home. At time I have fits of laughing
and crying that I cannot control. I am troubled by attacks of nausea and
vomiting. No one seems to understand me. I would like to be a singer.
I feel that it is certainly best to keep my mouth shut when I’m
in trouble. Evil spirits possess me at times. I am bothered by acid stomach
several time a week. At times I feel like swearing. I have nightmares
every few nights. I find it hard to keep a task or job. I have had very
peculiar and strange experiences. I have a cough most of the time. If
people had not had it in for me, I would have been rich and successful.
I seldom worry about my health. During one period when I was a youngster
I engaged in petty thievery. At times I feel like smashing the things.
Most of the time I would rather sit and daydream than do anything else.
My family does not like the work I have chosen. My sleep is fitful and
disturbed. Much of the time my head seems to hurt all over. I do not always
tell the truth. My judgment is better than it ever was. Once a week or
oftener I feel suddenly hot all over, without apparent cause. When I am
with people I am bothered by hearing very strange things. It would be
better if almost all rules were thrown away. My soul sometimes leaves
my body. I am in just as good physical health as most of my friends. A
minister can cure disease by praying and putting his head on your head.
I am liked by most people who know me. I am almost never bothered by pains
over the heart or in my chest. As a youngster I was suspended from school
one or more times for cutting up. I am a good mixer. Everything is turning
out just like the prophets in the Bible said it would. I have often had
to take orders from someone who did not know as much as I did. I do not
read every editorial in the newspaper every day. I have not led the right
kind of life. Parts of my body often have feelings like burning, tingling
or like "going to sleep." I sometimes keep on at a thing until
others lose their patience with me. I loved my father. I see things or
animals or people around me that others do not see. I wish I could be
as happy as other seem to be. I hardly ever feel pain in the back of the
neck. I am very strongly attracted to members of my own sex. I am an important
person. I have often wished I were a girl. I get angry sometimes. My feelings
are not easily hurt. I sometimes tease animals. I think I would the kind
of work a forest ranger does. I am easily drowned in an argument. Any
man who is able and willing has had a good chance of succeeding. These
days I find it hard not to give up hope of amounting to something. I am
entirely lacking in self-confidence. I would like to be a florist. I usually
feel that life is worth while. It takes a lot of argument to convince
most people of the truth once in a while I put off until tomorrow what
I ought to do today. I do not mind being made fun of. I would like to
be a nurse. I think most people would like to get ahead. I do many things
which I regret afterwards. I go to church almost every week. I have very
few quarrels with members of my family. At times I have a strong urge
to do something harmful or shocking. I believe in the second coming of
Christ. I like to go to parties and other affairs where there is lots
of fun. My harshest battles are with myself. I have little or no…
talks in sync sound, he is naked and masturbates throughout:
trying to like, when I see this film I want to, I want to know what it
was like for those cops in the country jail to see me sitting on a toilet
taking a crap because later I’ll probably watch this and jerk off.
I look in the mirror and I jerk off all the time, it gives me a hard-on.
It turns me on. People order my free photos and I’m sending them
out, putting them in an envelope… Sometimes I’m putting it
in an envelope and I look and when I see myself and it’s like I’m
looking oat someone else because all of a sudden I get real turned on
and I have to drop to the floor like a ton of motherfucking bricks and
my knees hit the floor and I get that picture down, down to the rug and
I take my motherfucking clothes off real fast and just jerk off about
seven times in a row.
last time I took a shit what more can I do? Besides jerk off in front
of everybody, beside whack off in front of everybody and shoot my sperm
out in front of the camera so everybody can eat it. I have sucked myself
off and swallowed the come that was hot. The at was some of the hottest
sex I’ve ever had, ever. I think that jerking off in front of everybody,
letting everybody see it is actually ultimate. Then I experience ecstacy
that people will see this happening, thinking about my prick. I think
about sex, that’s what I feel like. I feel like a piece of sex,
that’s what I am. I exists as a piece of sex. I am sex.
when I walk down the street I can come in my pants if I get excited. If
it’s a real scary situation I can throw a wad right in my fucking
pants man. A cat pulls a blade on me walking down the street I know he’s
gonna try and cut me and shit, usually before I take it away from him
I come in the process like standing on the edge of a cliff that’s
exciting. I could jerk off like that fuck around with rattlesnakes.
this is cool, I’ve got another way to do it, watch. I hate to flush
this good shit down the toilet man it’s a waste. People would pay
a lot of fucking money to have that, even more if you eat it, a lot more.
Don’t be surprised, most people are not surprised, I know some people
are, don’t be. I can spit on a piece of paper and sell it. I have.
I sold my fingernails, my clippings, everything you can sell, my used
clothes, jockstrap, underwear, pants, everything. Come? I used to sell
it by the gram.
the camera over here, I think it’s time I get stripped down so there’s
nothing on even my feet should be seen by people. You know the reason
I want people to see shit and come and the violence and rape3 like that
I don’t want evidence that I’m fucking crazy on film you dig?
I’d much rather come to something that’s socially acceptable.
I can come to anything at all if it’s a guy or a girl or come or
shit or piss or cock or tits or anything. But the world will accept this.
Look at her. Christ. That is unfuckingbelievable. Blows my mind. They’re
even more subservient than guys. They do really crazy things they scream
and everything. Look at that. Unfuckingbelievable. All right. It’s
like I have a harem. I’ve done this before, that’s why the
pictures are all cut out like this. No body’s ever gotten to see
this. Not even gotten to pay to see it. It’s a secret.
lays out pictures of nude women on the floor)
on the floor like a little scumbag and point the camera. That’s
what you’re here for. Look at that. You’re beautiful. This
one here. She’s ready to get fucked. I can tell. Look I’ll
come for her anyway. Yeah. How many eggs left in your pussy, must be about
time get down between her legs and lick it, fuck her real hard. (blows
her a kiss) Look at the size of that prick. Do you realize how many people
in the world have sucked this prick? Thousands, literally thousands of
people have sucked this prick and taken my wad either in the pussy or
in the asshole or in the mouth. Can you imagine what’s like for
me? Orgasm after orgasm. You know how many guys and girls I’ve had
in my life, given sperm baths to and pissed on and fucked? Know how many
checks are going around pregnant right now? Little kids out there who
don’t know their fucking father? Ain’t my fault man I didn’t
know any better, don’t blame me. I couldn’t help it. Oh Christ.
Oh God. I’m a caveman. I’m reptilian. I’m an animal.
I’m going to come.
That’s what. That’s what it’s really like in early life. When we were cave men, reptilian mind. There’s no such thing as inhibition, nothing fucking matters man. It’s just a bunch of neutrons and protons coming down from the sun and bombarding us all day long and fuck it. What does it all mean? It’s like…”